POLICE (PUBLIC CALL) BOX
Tom. 23. Spanish by deafult. Citizen of the world and part of the universe. Full-time geek and recently graduated Philologist. One of the Doctor's future companions. Randomness is my living and I get excited about shit all the time. Feel free to send me an ask anytime. I don't appreciate spoilers of any kind, so please tag your posts, so that I can blacklist safely. Or else (Nah, I'm nice :) )


POLICE TELEPHONE
FREE
FOR USE OF
PUBLIC
ADVICE & ASSISTANCE OBTAINABLE IMMEDIATELY
HOVER TO OPEN

1 2 3 4 5 »
kyrstin:

Ron always just fucking knows

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way.

kyrstin:

Ron always just fucking knows

Foreshadowing is a dramatic device in which an important plot point is mentioned early in the story to return later in a more significant way.

4 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 15,485 notes
der-prinz-aus-stahl:

flyawaymax:

That’s the opposite of a problem

I’d love to know how this mistake was made. What was going through their heads at the factory?
"Are you sure it actually says 1,450?"
"Yeah, why would it be a mistake?"

How much did he have to pay?! 

der-prinz-aus-stahl:

flyawaymax:

That’s the opposite of a problem

I’d love to know how this mistake was made. What was going through their heads at the factory?

"Are you sure it actually says 1,450?"

"Yeah, why would it be a mistake?"

How much did he have to pay?! 

5 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 452,182 notes

On abuse, victim-blaming, responsibility and Carrie drama:

revisitinq:

I’m not even gonna try and not swear in this post because this entire thing with Carrie’s DMC in the 401 show is so fucking dumb I can’t even begin to wrap my head around what is going on. People are so damn wrapped around this “victim blaming” crap that you see it wherever you fucking go and in everything you hear everybody say. I’m disgusted at people’s attitudes towards Carrie over the past 24 hours. 

I’ve taken my time writing this as people often misinterpret what I say and think I’m excusing abuse or victim blaming, which is definitely not the case.

I’m a victim of sexual abuse myself, and from my perspective I’ve been through many phases of blaming myself, blaming my family and blaming the world. Now I understand that it’s nobody’s fault but my attacker’s. However, and many people try and talk me out of this which I find just gobsmacking, I am aware that I put myself at risk in the first place. It’s not my fault, but I have (and everyone has) a responsibility to do their best to keep themselves safe. The world should be a safe place, but it’s not and as such, our safety is in our hands.

I think that there’s a big issue with this topic. When it comes to any kind of abuse of power, any sort of remark that you make regarding the victim’s responsibilities is deemed invalid because a horrible thing happened and shouldn’t have. Of course it isn’t the victim’s fault… but it’s undeniable that I have a responsibility for my own actions and what risks I put myself under, as does everyone of age. Once your parents are no longer responsible for your safety, you are. I was sexually assaulted on the street while alone at 3am. Of course it wasn’t my fault that I got assaulted, but there’s no way I could have thought that that wouldn’t have been a dangerous thing to do.

A big problem within the massive issue that is abuse is that a lot of people get caught up in the idea of what the world should be like, and the morals that would exist in such a world. For example, someone might be very passionate about gender equality (as we all should be), and they might think that it should be okay for women to bare their chests like men do. I for one, agree with this, but I don’t go out and do it because I don’t live in such a world, and if I were to bare my chest in public, I’d get arrested in many countries.

It’s never the victim’s “fault”, and they never “ask for it” but unfortunately, there are many risks in the real world that yes- shouldn’t exist, but until then we have to take care of ourselves! Yes, we shouldn’t have to carry around pepper spray, but unfortunately we live in a world where in many places, it’s necessary. “Victims aren’t playing with fire: they are walking through a world that is on fire. If they don’t come with at least a water bottle, then they’re might get hurt.” (Coryl from the Hopeful Forum)


As for what Carrie said in the video, I understand how it may have been taken the wrong way, but there is nothing wrong with acknowledging that some people find it hard to say “no” (for an extensive number of possible reasons) and that communicating and saying “no, I don’t want to do this” is a perfectly okay thing to do in a healthy relationship. 

As for the difficulty people have in saying “no”: We are emotive beings and especially today, we live in a world that runs very highly on social appearances. This makes it very easy for certain people to abuse their power, and it’s in no way “our fault” if/when we “cave in” to doing things we don’t really want to do due an array of consequences we might fear. It’s the abuse of power that we have to fight, as well as the reasons that lead to that abuse in the first place.


The reason you’ve taken Carrie’s words as “victim blaming” is that she approached the issue via the possible victim’s responsibilities. You’re interpreting what she said as “people need to have more self respect and learn to just say no”, rather than what she actually meant which was “horrible things happen in our world and until they don’t, we need to be as prepared and protected as we possibly can”.

This is such a huge topic and there’s no way to cover everything. People will always call you out on all the details you leave out, and they’ll take things you say in completely the wrong way because you summarised it into a 5 second phrase for a video. My question is: How is anyone supposed to make videos about serious issues when it would take several hours (or thousands of words) to explain every tiny little thing you say in case somebody thinks you’re saying something else?

Language is a complicated thing and there isn’t just one way of saying or phrasing things. Before you assume somebody is blaming the victims, consider if they’ve maybe just phrased what they meant in a less clear way and take your hateful personalities somewhere else.

You want to end abuse? How about we start with the easier things and you stop attacking people online to the point where they feel they have to delete Twitter off of their phones.

6 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 621 notes
rbnrietveld:

OMAIGAAAAAAAAAAA
Skype time!

Surprise bitch! We so pretty doe, omg1! I’m counting this as today’s #100happydays, because it’s Sunday II, and events did not happen.
19/04/14
Day 55. *basically read above*

rbnrietveld:

OMAIGAAAAAAAAAAA

Skype time!

Surprise bitch! We so pretty doe, omg1! I’m counting this as today’s #100happydays, because it’s Sunday II, and events did not happen.

19/04/14

Day 55. *basically read above*

8 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 3 notes

lexcanroar:

SO - Carrie made a comment in a video that hurt a lot of abuse victims. I contacted her with the two tweets below, and then wrote a tumblr post explaining why that language was harmful. That was all I did. 

image

What happened next was a barrage of nasty tweets calling me a bully, sad, twisted, someone with a ‘vendetta’, someone with an ulterior motive - all because I asked her to accept that her language was harmful and apologise for it. At no point was I mean. At no point was I aggressive. I was getting emails and tweets and messages from victims of rape and abuse who had been made to feel terrible by what Carrie had said, and yet I was told that if I ‘really cared’ about abuse victims I would never have ‘attacked’ Carrie for what she had said in that video.

It is not attacking somebody to say ‘hey, you did a problematic thing, you should accept that it was harmful and apologise for it’. It is not an attack to calmly explain why somebody’s language was harmful and ask them to take responsibility. It IS an attack when you go out of your way to try to hurt people - which is what quite a lot of Carrie’s fans (and oddly enough her mother) have been doing to me over the past couple of hours. 

All because I saw that abuse victims were upset and hurt by Carrie’s language, and I asked her to realise this and apologise. 

This isn’t the kind of thing that upsets me, mainly because I’m used to getting ‘hate’ when I stand up for what I believe in and also because I’ve had so many amazing and heartbreaking and just generally overwhelming messages from people over the last couple of hours. Funnily enough I really dislike any kind of conflict and I get no pleasure whatsoever from arguing with people, but some things are too important, and your messages have reaffirmed that. Basically … you guys are the best. Cool. 

9 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 509 notes

Open letter(?) to Carrie Fletcher

bridgetjonespants:

1. When somebody got hurt by your words, you apologise. YOU may not have intended to hurt them, but if they felt hurt by your words, you apologise. You do not get defensive and dismiss their pain. Imagine accidentally stepping on someone’s foot whilst you’re wearing stilettos. When they wince in pain, you do not go, “Oh but it’s not my fault, I didn’t mean to step on you, see. Your foot was just there, but I never wanted to hurt you.” Instead, you apologise for causing them pain (albeit unintentionally).

2. The problem is not that you are encouraging young girls to say “no” before they get abused. It’s that you said that girls should have the “self-respect” to say no - this implies that you think past victims do not have self-respect? How can you not realise how hurtful that can be to the victims?

3. You make it sound like saying “no” is such a straightforward issue. When you’re being manipulated, sometimes you don’t even realise it. That’s because manipulators are good at what they do. So 1) the victims may not have realised they were in danger before it was too late, and 2) sometimes people in those situations just feel unsafe, they’re scared of what might happen to them if they’d refused. And the way you made saying “no” sound so easy is hurtful to these victims because you are being very dismissive of their struggles.

4. I can say this: you are not victim-blaming. I can sincerely see that you did not say anything that can directly be counted as blaming the victims. But this I can also say: you are victim-shaming. Implying that they have no self-respect is first, and second is how you’ve made the victims sound weak by implying that saying “no” should be easy-peasy. I’m not sure if victim-shaming can be counted as a form of victim-blaming, but I think it is close enough to be confused with each other. Dangerously close. So it shouldn’t be too shocking that there are people who’d think you’re victim-blaming. And anyway, victim-shaming is wrong too.

5. Instead of being all defensive about people supposedly attacking you, you should really just apologise to the actual real-life victims who were actually hurt by your poor word choice. These are actual people with actual feelings, not just some online trolls out to attack you. And from this incident, learn that words can be misconstrued, and in the future try to be more careful with your words*. Also, learn to be prepared for people misunderstanding your intentions and be ready to clarify things for them without sounding 1) overly defensive 2) dismissive of other people’s feelings and 3) ignorant about the actual gravity of the issue. 

* I cannot stress enough how you should be more careful with your words. If even adults can misconstrue your intentions, how sure can you be that impressionable young girls won’t get the wrong message?

P.S. I know it’s very hard to admit you’re wrong, but when so many people’s feelings are at stake… c’mon.

This is one of the most neutral posts I have found on the matter.

10 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 41 notes
""It's about having the confidence to say I don't want to do this" @CarrieHFletcher on pressure in #relationships " what the HECK


lexcanroar:

pottermoosh:

The full quote [1:56 in the video]:

Jimmy: What should you do if you feel pressured within a relationship to maybe have sex, or to send explicit pictures, or to do anything you don’t feel comfortable with?
Carrie: It’s about having the confidence and the self-esteem and the self-respect to say ‘I don’t want this’, ‘I don’t wanna do this.’

[Link].

(Note: this quote is followed by a discussion on consent, which is important, but it does approach it from the angle of ‘oh that can be quite romantic’ rather than ‘hey that’s a legal obligation’.)

Some people are saying that those who have been upset by this are “twisting Carrie’s words” - these were her exact words. Nobody needs to ‘twist’ them to see that she’s implying that victims are somehow at fault when they’re being pressured or coerced if they don’t say ‘no’. 

When you say that you need to have the confidence or self-respect to say no, you’re implying that people who DON’T say “no” or “I don’t want to do this” in those situations are doing so because of a LACK of self-respect or confidence. That they don’t say no because of some personal failing, and that if they had self-respect, they would be able to say no and this might have changed the outcome. This directly puts some of the blame on the victims of coercion or abuse. THIS IS HARMFUL. It doesn’t matter if that’s ‘not how she meant it’ as some people are claiming, because that’s exactly how she said it, and that’s how many viewers will understand it. If that’s really not what she meant, she has to accept that it’s what she implied, and that that responsibility lies with her and the 401 Show not with the victims of abuse who’ve been hurt by her words. Their feelings are the most important thing in this situation.

When you mess up and you make victims of abuse feel worse about what happened to them, you apologise.  You take responsibility. That’s on you. 

11 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 407 notes
plays

lexcanroar:

lexcanroar:

got drunk. talked about taxes. WHY DON’T THEY TEACH YOU ABOUT TAXES IN SCHOOL???? still mad.

STILL mad.

*Hides behind parents* Don’t want to be an adult, thank you.

12 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 446 notes

carriehopefletcher:

I’d like to make it clear that when I said in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg6166asgx0 it’s about finding the confidence and having the self-esteem and self-respect to say no, I in no way meant to imply that it is a victims fault for not saying no. If you have been abused it is your abusers fault for abusing you. Everything said in the video was meant for those in relationships who have the potential to be in a bad situation or have the potential to be abused.

I want to make sure that any young girls/guys watching my videos, know that they are worth so much more than the way some arse may one day treat you. If you are put under pressure or someone is trying to force you to do something you don’t want to do, you are worth so much more then you’re being made to feel. I want you to love and respect yourselves and in situations like that put yourselves first and say NO, I do NOT want to do this. 

That video was not aimed at victims of abuse and of course, anyone who has been a victim of abuse, it is not their fault that the’ve been abused. It’s the arse who abused them’s fault, clearly. But what I want to try and encourage is A. For everyone to make their partners feel loved, considered and safe and B. For everyone to say a clear and firm NO to anything they don’t want to do, regardless of how the other person is making them feel because it’s SO important that you speak out and say no before it’s too late. Your body language may be speaking for you but to be 100% explicit, speak out. Don’t leave room for interpretation. BEFORE you even have the chance to become a victim. 

12 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 723 notes
emperorhomosexual:

alilfallofrain:

stut—ter:

bway4life:

HOCUS POCUS: THE MUSICAL to open on Broadway this fall! Starring Patti LuPone,Rebel Wilson, and Laura Osnes!

SHUT THE FUCK UP


THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING NEWS I’VE EVER HEARD

emperorhomosexual:

alilfallofrain:

stut—ter:

bway4life:

HOCUS POCUS: THE MUSICAL to open on Broadway this fall! Starring Patti LuPone,Rebel Wilson, and Laura Osnes!

SHUT THE FUCK UP

THIS IS THE MOST EXCITING NEWS I’VE EVER HEARD

1 day ago on April 18th, 2014 | J | 1,045 notes